Mordecai and Rigby In Pictures
by PeterInHisFreeTime
Summary: Mordecai and Rigby are sucked through their television and must make their way through the movies of 2013 to get back to their living room. Movie parodies will happen by the dozens.
1. Chapter 1

(Author's Note: This story takes place before Margaret goes to college; I could not think of a way to work in her story line. This story will have Mordecai and Rigby in several 2013 movie parodies. If you want to see a 2013 movie parodied in this FanFiction, feel free to request it in a review. I plan on doing several movie parodies like Iron Man 3, The Conjuring, We're The Millers, The Great Gatsby, Star Trek etc.)

"Mordecai, Rigby!" Benson shouted across the hall.

"Oh boy," said Mordecai, "here comes Benson to yell at us...again."

"Aw man," groaned Rigby, "this is like the bajillionth time this week."

Benson stormed into the room sweating profusely. Though, he looked less angry and more stressed out. In his hands he held two heavy canvas bags with the words "Movies in Bulk" written on them.

"Guys," began Benson, "I need you to watch a few movies."

"Did someone replace your gumballs with BuzzBallz again?" Rigby asked, confused. The last thing he ever expected Benson to tell them was to relax.

"Seriously Benson, are you okay?" Mordecai asked.

"Yes, I'm fine," said Benson, "We're gonna face East Pines on Movie Mania next week and I need you guys to be ready."

"We're gonna be on TV?" Rigby asked with a spark of excitement flashing in his eyes.

"Ugh…yes Rigby," said Benson annoyed at Rigby's focus on being a self-proclaimed "TV Star." "And unless you want to embarrass yourself and the park, you'd better watch these movies." Benson placed the bag on the living room floor in front of the two slackers. "Now watch these movies or you're…wait, can I really fire you for not watching movies? Ah what the hell; OR YOU'RE FIRED!" Benson took the second bag and went upstairs to watch the movies inside.

"Dude, we get to watch movies for work," said Rigby, "isn't that awesome?"

"Dude, there's like fifty-something movies in here," said Mordecai, taking a few cases out of the bag. The cases were thin and black with only a white sticker with black sharpie as a label.

"What is this?" asked Rigby taking a case out of the bag and looking at the title. "Hansel and Gretel? Are these movies or baby books?"

"You've got your thumb on the label," said Mordecai before Rigby moved his thumb off the label. "It says: Hansel and Gretel…Witch Hunters? Rated R for… violence, gore, nudity and language ?"

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Rigby.

"Let's watch this one first," Mordecai said, quickly taking the movie out and putting it in the player. Once the DVD was in the player, the television flashed white a few times and then the unthinkable happened.

A vortex opened up inside the television and the two slackers found themselves holding onto the couch with all of their strength. Their bodies were fully horizontal as the vortex tried to suck them both in. Rigby was able to climb over and behind the couch, which for some reason wasn't being sucked into the powerful vortex. Mordecai, however was pulled into the vortex.

"Mordecai!" Rigby screamed before jumping into the vortex after Mordecai.

The view of the living room sank as they both fell backwards into a tunnel of flashing images and blue light. This hadn't been the first time they'd been sucked into a vortex, but it certainly didn't seem any easier. Rigby dove down the tunnel to catch Mordecai before the tunnel suddenly split in two and sent both of them flying into different directions.

After being separated from Rigby, Mordecai found himself floating for a few seconds before falling flat on his stomach.

"Hansel…you okay?" A female voice suddenly flooded Mordecai's ears, confusing him to no end.

Mordecai got up and looked around. He noticed that he was suddenly in a dingy old cabin in the woods. The place looked like it had been abandoned since Boy George had a career, and the floor was covered in dead leaves and cobwebs.

"Hansel," said the voice again, starting to sound familiar to Mordecai, "you think the witch will be back soon?" Mordecai turned around to see a face that was far from unfamiliar to him. It was Margaret, dressed in black leather and carrying a crossbow.

"Margaret?" Mordecai asked, confused as to why Margaret was wearing that outfit, "I didn't know you were into bondage."

"Who's Margaret?" said the woman who was apparently not Margaret. "Did the witch already curse you? MY-NAME-IS-GRETAL…I-AM-YOUR-SISTER. YOUR NAME IS HANSEL."

"Hansel? Wha…" Mordecai said to himself, feeling shocked. Finally, he realized what was going on. "Oh crap…I'M STUCK IN THE MOVIE!"


	2. Mordecai and Margaret: Witch Hunters

"Look," said Margaret (the narrator has made a choice not to refer to the characters by the characters they play in the movie universe), "you've got a rifle and you shoot witches. Once we kill this one you'll probably get your memory back. Just follow my lead."

Mordecai had many more questions to ask, like how to use the rifle he had. The rifle was big, bulky and extremely heavy. It was like a combination of a camera lens and a grenade launcher. However, there was no time to ask questions. All he knew was that he needed to survive long enough in the movie until he could discover a way out.

Just at that moment, the creaky, old wooden door burst open and a hideous being entered the room. It looked like the combination of a California raisin, the willow tree from Pocahontas, and Barbara Streisand.

"Look out Hansel!" screamed Margaret as she shot an arrow, which the witch avoided by getting on all fours and climbing up the walls with a snarl. Needless to say, Mordecai was shocked. He had never heard of witches that act like full-out werewolves. He always thought that witches sat at home all day and made spells and child sacrifices. "Aim for the head!" Margaret shouted.

"Are these witches or zombies?!" Mordecai said. He of course knew that zombies could be killed with a bullet to the head, but witches? But, now was not the time to compare witches and zombies. Mordecai took a chance and fired the gun, which missed its target miserably; the bullet bounced off the stone fireplace and flew out the window with a loud shatter. Luckily, the noise was able to distract the witch long enough for Margaret to fire an arrow into the witch's eye.

Having failed with the gun, Mordecai's course of action suddenly turned from fight to flight, and he ran out the door with the witch following him shortly after. Mordecai kept running and running, the witch getting closer by the second until he tripped on a wire and fell backwards onto the leaf-ridden forest floor. In what seemed like a slit second, the witch flew right past Mordecai and a plucking sound was heard.

"Is it over?" Mordecai asked, sitting up on the ground. Suddenly, the witch's decapitated head landed in his lap and he screamed.

"Watch out!" Magaret shouted, shooting a couple of arrows into the air as a roar was heard. Mordecai looked up to see another witch with fangs and horns flying right towards him. Mordecai got up and ran away quickly.

"Since when do witches have horns?!" screamed Mordecai, "and since when did they roar?!"

He kept running, jumping over branches and passing trees. He did this until he reached a small town, which looked like the typical old English town with cobblestone streets, wooden signs and straw roofs. All the while, the witch was still chasing him, sending everybody in town running into their houses.

"Hansel!" Margaret screamed chasing after the witch, "your front pocket!"

Thinking fast, Mordecai reached into his front pocket and pulled out what looked like a medieval Taser. At this point, he didn't even bother asking why there were tasers in what looked like medieval England. He just aimed at the witch and pulled the trigger, sending a shocking wave of electricity whipping through the air at the witch. It finally collided with its target, sending the witch flying across the street and onto a shovel, conveniently decapitating it with a swift slice.

Mordecai couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement; he had just killed a witch. It was just like that time he and Rigby killed a bunch of zombies at the park…

"Oh crap," said Mordecai, "I've gotta save Rigby!" He ran right past Margaret and followed his footsteps back to the witch's cabin. He searched the ground he landed on for something that might have slipped through the void. At last he found something useful: a remote control.

Without hesitation, Mordecai pressed the "skip" button and was engulfed in another series of flashing lights and images.


	3. Starla The Identity Thief

(Author's note: POSSIBLE IDENTITY THIEF SOILER ALERT. Also, I am not comparing Melissa McCarthy to Starla or making fun of her appearance by having Starla portray her character. I just thought Starla would match her character in terms of personality)

Benson woke up in his car at the driver's seat. He didn't remember how he got there and was a bit concerned.

"What the…" he thought to himself, "ugh…I must have had another anger episode. Those two slackers are so fired." Just as he started driving, his cell phone rang; it was Veronica. Benson let his visions of firing Mordecai and Rigby take a back seat and answered the phone. "Yes dear?"

"Did you find her yet, Benson?" asked Veronica.

"Find who?" asked Benson, "you mean Mordecai and Rigby _didn't_ make me pass out?"

"No no," said Veronica reassuringly, "the bitch who stole your identity."

Benson's look changed from puzzlement to outrage quicker than the flavor of Fruit Stripe gum lasts. "WHAT!?" Benson screamed, "SOMEONE STOLE MY IDENTITY!?"

"Yes," said Veronica, "that's why you're in Florida. You said you had to bring her back or you'll be fired."

Benson had no memory of this whatsoever, and he hadn't even been to Florida. With one look out the windshield, he noticed all of the palm trees surrounding the highway. Benson thought about going to the hospital to treat his amnesia, but his worries at the moment concerned his impending termination. He didn't want to lose his job; especially because of some identity thief.

"Identity…thief…" Benson thought to himself, "Have I heard that before?" Before he could think about it, the car in front of him came to a sudden stop, and Benson's head jerked forward. The momentum pushed a piece of paper on his lap. It was a picture of the person who stole his identity, and for some strange reason, it was Starla.

Starla exited the vehicle pretending to be injured and holding her neck. Benson then stormed out of the car and approached her.

"Starla? YOU stole my identity?" Benson asked, not exactly convinced that someone like Starla was capable of getting away with identity theft.

"What are you talking about, loser?" asked Starla. Benson approached her to ask a few questions, but suddenly Starla punched him in his throat, almost cracking his glass ball.

"What the hell?!" Benson yelled as he keeled over in pain.

"I'm Sandy Bigelow now, chump! Kiss your identity goodbye!" Starla yelled as she started driving off. Benson quickly got back into his car and scrambled to find his wallet. He took one look at his Driver's License and screamed. His name was now "Sandy Bigelow Patterson."

He finally put the pieces together and resurrected his memory. He suddenly remembered being sucked into his television and landing on his head in the car. He was officially the star of "Identity Thief."

Before he could even react, Starla rammed him with her blue FIAT; a car Benson never expected Starla to afford.

"Woo hoo!" Starla yelled, "In your face!" Starla kept ramming Benson's car over and over again. She slammed the gas pedal and crashed the FIAT into Benson's car before reversing and repeating the cycle again. Benson's car seemed to be caving and he only had so much time before he was crushed. He had to think fast.

Benson found the side window and slammed the top of his head against it. The small metal probe at the top of his head broke the glass and caused it to shatter. Benson crawled out of his seat as Starla slammed his car with full force, almost breaking it in two, and Benson jumped out of the window just as his car was smashed to the width of a sugar cookie.

Benson had no choice but to run for it. Before he did, he noticed the remote control on the ground next to him, and, thinking fast, picked it up to take with him.

"Get back here!" Starla shouted, "I'm not finished with you!" At this point, Starla was sprinting after Benson with a baseball bat, but just couldn't keep up. Just when Benson thought he would escape, he tripped over a stray branch and landed on his face. By the time he got up, Starla was standing over him with the bat in her hand. Benson screamed out loud and held his hands up to block it, but Starla dropped the bat.

"I'm sorry," said Starla, "I steel identities because I have no friends."

"Have you gone crazy?" said Benson, forgetting for a moment that Starla wasn't actually Starla, "you're dating Muscle Man."

"I wish I could date a muscular man…" Starla started tearing up, much to Benson's confusion, "I don't even know my own name, so I have to steal others; I'm a total dumpster baby." Benson was confused; he assumed from IMDB that this movie was a comedy, so why then was all this heavy-handed nonsense about child abandonment and exposition being brought on.

Starla babbled on and on in absolute hysterics, like a guest on Dr. Phil, and Benson didn't have time for it. He had to figure out how to escape the movie and get back to his office before the game show. So he sat on the ground and thought about it, not paying attention to Starla's out-of-place exposition.

Then the idea hit him to use the remote to escape. He learned this from the time he watched that Fairly Oddparents movie: "Channel Chasers" when he held that kids' movie night at the park. He mostly remembered the obnoxious, over-dramatic and mean-spirited scenes of Timmy's parents screaming at him for stuff he didn't do, but he did remember Timmy using a remote control to travel channels. Perhaps the gumball machine could use it to travel movies.

So as Starla kept babbling on about her childhood in endless detail, Benson pressed the "skip" button and was transported to another movie.

Meanwhile…Rigby was alive in another movie, but he had never felt more cold or dead in his life. Even with that red long-sleeved jacket he was wearing…


End file.
